9:21 pm - Saturday, Aug. 16, 2008
The Bitchy Whine Fest
I'm feeling icky and sad today. I have this never ending headache and my sinuses always hurt. Need to go to the doctor again but I'm trying to wait. For the last 3 months, my work has been promising to start a healthcare plan and I've filled out all the paperwork and shit and they keep postponing it. They said it would definitely start on Aug. 1st and then changed it. Now, who knows. That's kind of the only reason I'm staying at that job, because I need healthcare and it's cheap and is actually a good plan.

The bitch that I hated at work got the boot last week, finally! I was so excited. She did put in a 2 week notice but they let her go immediately because my boss hated her as much as I did. It was great. The lady working with me now is alright, I can deal with her.

I love my lady. I'm waiting on her right now to come over and spend the night with me. And we shall go see Mamma Mia tomorrow. Can't wait. I've been talking about seeing it non-stop for months now, even though we've gone to see other movies since it came out.

The lady and I are doing well. We don't fight much and that's pretty good. We do have mini-tiffs, if you will call them and that has to do with some of my whiney-ness sometimes. I'm such an emotional and needy girl, it's sickening. But she puts up with me. Just like I put up with her weird ass. My zombie-loving, purple haired lady.

Last Friday was her birthday and what she wanted to do for it, was go to a strip club. Neither of had ever been. It was interesting, I will say. Some of those girls have some skills, know how to work the pole. I had fun for awhile, then it was all the same and I got bored. Jess was fucking drunk, so she LOVED it.

What bugged me a little was the fact that at this club, I'm not sure if a lot of them are like this, was that you had to have a man with you to get in. Luckily, Jess invited one of her friends and her boyfriend to go with us, otherwise we would have been screwed.

One of her other friends went and it's the girl I started talking to before I met Jess. The story behind that is, I was talking to the girl, Sam and she had invited me to go to the gay club and hang out. Jess was there that night with her but I couldn't make it. And Sam was telling Jess about me and I guess I sounded nice. So Jess sent me a message on MySpace and started talking to me and here we are. SO, without Sam, Jess and I wouldn't have met. And it's taken me 5 months to actually meet this Sam in person. She's okay, but I'm glad I never dated her.

Ashleigh just turned 21 yesterday and went out and got drunk and totally didn't invite me to join in the birthday celebration. I'm not surprised. We are not really good friends anymore. We tolerate each other and that's about it.

I just know that I definitely have a place to live until February when our lease is up and then it's me and Jess to fend for ourselves. We will begin the great apartment search at the end of the year and hope to God we can afford things. But between my crappy paychecks and her going to school and only being able to work part-time, I am scared shitless. My only hope is that we both get really good income tax refunds to start us off and hope for the best. It's going to be rough and I can totally see me getting a second job to get by. I don't want to, my first job tires me out enough, but I'll do what I have to be with my lady.

I'm stressed and worried and sad and I don't like being a grown up. I miss back home somedays. I haven't seen my parents in a month. I haven't seen my friends in 4 months. I need new tires on my car. I wish I could afford better groceries, so I don't have to eat cheap nasty food everyday. The upside of that is, I keep losing weight. The downside, I'm too broke to buy new clothes that fit. So, I look like a baggy hobo. Of course, if I quit smoking I could afford a lot more. But no, I chain smoke my way through the day. My choices, my life. Whatever.

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