11:09 pm - Friday, Feb. 15, 2008
Home on the Range
I'm having a Tessa weekend. Ash and Anna have gone out of town for the weekend and left me home with the dogs.

I'm kind of thankful for it, because I need time away from them, but then again I don't know what to do and I'm going to get bored. And I usually don't know what to do when they aren't around because we do everything together.

They invited me to go along, and I really wanted to because they went to Hot Springs and that is my favorite city in Arkansas. But I didn't like the idea of being gone till Sunday. I would miss church and I need to go see my parents this weekend. Again, the idea of being alone was too tempting to accept the invitation.

But the bitches are staying at the most beautiful hotel there and I've always wanted to stay there. Always next time.

Anyway, to add to things going on in my life. I had a birthday on the 26th. Not an eventful birthday, but I'm 25 now. I had planned a big dinner with my closest friends and it was going to be awesome, until there was a bunch of stupid drama that pissed me off. So, I cancelled it and went to dinner by myself, which was equally lovely to me. That's the place I'm in now, I need to be alone and not so dependent on people to make me happy.

I got my hair cut on Wednesday. It's very short. I kind of like it, but Ash was the first to say she hated it. That she had liked that I had grown my hair out. But I couldn't take it. I'm not a long hair type of girl. The new haircut screams dyke and I'm a tad afraid of outing myself at work. Not that the rainbow earrings don't scream that either.

I'm now a pierced person. I think I was the only woman in the world without pierced ears. But I got them pierced in December. And it's good. I like them. Ash and Anna talked me into gauging them, like theirs. So I did it on Wednesday also. It's a 14 gauge barbell in my ears, just slightly thicker than normal earrings. Once I get over the pain of this shit, I may go bigger, not too much though. But a second hole is in the future.

I have a crush on this woman at work and I don't know for sure, but I think she flirts with me. I can't read the signals and stuff. She goes out of her way to talk to me and lately, shes been touching me in a kind of flirty way. But she's cute and I would never make a move.

I have also had a crush on this other woman since I started there. Never talked to her, but she's gorgeous. Everytime I see her, I'm happy. I had never even heard her talk until our Christmas party at work. Ash doesn't think she's as hot as I do, but she's gorgeous.

Ash, Anna and I all got together and ordered sex toys online last night. That's a little weird, most friends don't do that together. But they paid for the vibrator I wanted, which I'll owe them for, along with $600 that I don't have.

I have to come up with that somewhere. Ash got a shitload back in income taxes and she paid for all our apartment rent and deposits and the rest of the rent on house we were living in. And I owe her for my part of it. All my income taxes go to that, which is only a little over $300. So I have to come up with another $300. Think I'm borrowing that from my parents. I'm so in debt.

But I got another car. My parents got it for me and it's a lot better than my old one that was about to fall apart.

And I feel like a loser because I can't afford anything. My parents and other people are buying shit for me.

I pray I get another raise at work soon. My boss said I deserve to be making more money than I am now and since I moved into this new room, that if I show her I can do a good job, she'll give me a raise. We'll see if that happens. She's full of shit and never does what she says she's going to do.

Anyway, I'm just bored and rambling. So, I'll get off of here and continue another time.

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