9:00 pm - Saturday, Feb. 23, 2008
Ignorance at it's best
I'm so exhausted. I feel like all I do is work and sleep. And eat. I was so happy that I got down to my lowest weight in like 10 years but I know I've gained a lot back and it sucks ass. Too much going out to eat. But I go shopping for food and nothing sounds good. Whatever I buy just sits there because it's just gross.

For awhile I was living on hot pockets and granola bars, which is an interesting diet. Actually lost weight.

I'm really bored tonight. I'm thankful to have a day where I don't have anything to do. But then I don't have anything to do and I'm lost.

I did get a second hole put in my ear today. I'm obsessed with piercing things. I'm trying to figure out what else I can pierce. Nothing on the face because I can't wear it to work. So I don't know. I just like the pain. Better than cutting, which I haven't done in a long time now.

I'm rambling. Just sitting at home by myself. Well with the dogs. The bitches left and made me walk the dogs.

Oh, tomorrow at church they are having a 5th anniversary thing and they are recognizing new members. And I will officially become a member of the church. They'll have a whole ceremony thing, but I don't know how that's going to go. I'm kind of excited because I really enjoy the church even though I'm not a huge part of the church. I just go on Sundays and don't participate in the extra stuff they have. But I know it's where I need to be.

I am loving living so close to work. I get to come home on my lunch break. It's just 4 minutes away. It's awesome and I'm saving so much money on gas, which is good since it's like $3.09 a gallon here. Good Lord, that is insane.

I'm talking to a new girl, that I met on myspace. She actually went to school with Ashleigh and our friend Danielle. She's nice, kind of cute. And a full fledged lesbian. Those are hard to come by here in this great state of Arkansas. I'm playing it cool. Not doing the whole needy, clingy, desperate girl that usually comes out of me when I meet someone new. So, I will update you on that whole thing.

I went to see my parents this past weekend. And the town they are from got hit by a really bad tornado a few weeks ago. I was shocked to see the damage it had done. It brought tears to my eyes to see all these places I grew up with, just gone. The church that most of my family attends was destroyed. It looked horrible.

I was reading the town newspaper and looking at pictures and reading about the tornado. I couldn't believe it. There are disaster relief places set up all over town. FEMA was running around everywhere. That is not something I expected to see in my hometown. All Arkansas government officials visited the town to see the damage. Laura Bush was scheduled to make a visit, but couldn't make it due to weather issues. That's crazy to me.

The town is wrecked but thankfully, all my family and friends had no damage done. Had it moved half a mile West, it would have gotten my parents and most of my families houses.

Anyway, I'm still having these feelings for Ashleigh. The jealousy of her and Anna gets to me sometimes. They changed their minds about having a baby until Anna gets a job. They're just going to do it anyway. VERY SMART. Because people are so eager hire a pregnant woman. I just don't get it at all. Their "donor" guy is supposed to come over tomorrow and do whatever. I'm just avoiding it all. They get pissy with me when I bring it up and tell them my opinions. I'm staying out of it.

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