8:27 pm - Saturday, Nov. 29, 2008
Moving and marriage
I'm home alone and my girlfriend is out of town with her family. And I'm slightly depressed. I miss her so much. I'm also sick as a dog, which seems to be all the time these days.

We got approved for the apartment we want and now we are waiting to find out if it will actually be available on Jauary 1st when we want to move. I hope to God it is, I'm so ready to move. I'm anxious and nervous. A little scared because that means we will be together all the time, which isn't bad, because I love her so much. But that cuts my alone time, that I love so much, down quite a bit. It's all about sacrifice for someone you love, I suppose.

If we can't move in on Jan. 1st, there is no way I'm staying here in this apartment past that. I am going to move back home and drive the 45 minutes back and forth to work everyday until we find a place. I refuse to pay any more rent on this shitty apartment.

We've been preparing for the move. I've yet to pack anything, but I'm working on eliminating my clutter and pack-rat like mess.

Jessica's mom has been on a buying spree to get us stuff for the apartment. Seriously, there are minimal things we have to actually buy. We have all the furniture and kitchen shit we could use. My mom gave me a microwave and an almost brand new bed and mattresses for our second bedroom. We tell people the second bedroom is for the animals that Jess has that I'm allergic to, but it's really because her mom doesn't want her dad to know about her being gay. So we have to set it up to look like we have seperate bedrooms. It does work out with the animals but it's still sad.

Anyway, Jess and I took our trip to Gay Arkansas, otherwise known as Eureka Springs. It was really fun and nice to spend alone time with just us. Jess's mom owns a house that belonged to her grandparents near there and we stayed at the house for the weekend. So that saved some money. We got to watch the Rocky Horror show and that was a blast. We are the freaks who know every word to every song. Great fun.

Jess is going with me to my work Christmas party, as my "best friend who I'm moving in with". Because that's how I talk about her at work. They'll know she's gay. She can't hide it very well. But it's worth it. I love my lady.

I'm all ready for Christmas now. I had my tree up 2 weeks before Thanksgiving, thanks to that girlfriend who is obsessed with Christmas. Her family has Christmas Spirit spilled all over their lawn and entire house already. Actually finished with almost all of my shopping, thanks for Black Friday deals. I have one more gift to buy and then finish up with Jess.

One of her gifts from me is a ring, since she already gave me one. But she's a tad difficult because she wants a specific kind design on hers and it's not easy to find in her size. So I'm going to have to get it from Ebay. And I hate online shopping. I'm one of those weirdos who doesn't trust online shopping, especially if you have to buy it from someone. Never done the whole Ebay thing. So, I'm very iffy. But I'll do it.

We are planning to have a commitment ceremony next fall, if things go right. Haven't put details into it but it's in the works. I'm excited and scared. Never thought I'd get to that place with someone where I could really commit to them, even though I've always wanted it. I feel lucky to have found this lady that I'm so in love with and so comfortable. It all feels right.

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